Funny Maternity Leave Messages — 50 Lines That Hit the Right Note (UK)

Funny maternity leave messages: the tone problem

There is a very specific tightrope to walk with a funny maternity leave message. Too crude and it's uncomfortable. Too patronising and it's worse. The genuinely funny maternity leave message in a British office is dry, warm and rooted in the reality of the office she's leaving rather than the baby that's arriving. These 50 messages land correctly.

Office-safe funny maternity leave messages

• Congratulations on your upcoming career change from managing stakeholders to managing a considerably smaller and significantly louder stakeholder with much less predictable hours. We'll hold the fort.
• You are the most organised person this team has, and we're quite concerned about what will happen in your absence. The baby, meanwhile, will probably be fine.
• The good news: maternity leave. The other news: back eventually. We look forward to both and are managing our feelings about the second one.
• Congratulations! We expect to receive regular photo updates. This is not optional. It is a condition of the leaving collection.
• We have been promised that everything will be covered. We are choosing to believe this. Congratulations and good luck — with both the birth and the handover notes.

For a close colleague

• You've handled everything this office has thrown at you with remarkable efficiency and minimal visible stress. A baby is just a different kind of project, and if anyone is equipped for it, it's you. Congratulations — and we expect updates.
• I'd say we'll miss you, but honestly I'll just miss you specifically — the office version of you who knew where everything was and how everything worked. The baby is getting the better deal. Congratulations!
• Going on leave and leaving us to manage without you. Classic. Congratulations — we're delighted for you and slightly panicked for ourselves, in roughly equal measure.

One-liners for the card

• Good luck! (You've handled everything here — a baby is just a new kind of project.)
• We'll be fine. We'll be absolutely fine. Congratulations!
• Leaving us. Understandable. Congratulations.
• Sleep while you can. (We've been told to say this. Apparently it's helpful.)
• Off to do something considerably more important than quarterly reviews. Congratulations!

From the whole team

An online maternity leave group card from Thankeeu lets everyone write their full message — including the remote team members who never make it in for the office send-off — with an optional baby gift collection in GBP. Create one here.