Funny Maternity Leave Messages — 50 Lines That Hit the Right Note (UK)

Funny maternity leave messages: the tone problem

There is a very specific tightrope to walk with a funny maternity leave message. Too crude and it's uncomfortable. Too patronising and it's worse. The genuinely funny maternity leave message in a British office is dry, warm and rooted in the reality of the office she's leaving rather than the baby that's arriving. These 50 messages land correctly.

Office-safe funny maternity leave messages

• Congratulations on your upcoming career change from managing stakeholders to managing a considerably smaller and significantly louder stakeholder with much less predictable hours. We'll hold the fort.
• You are the most organised person this team has, and we're quite concerned about what will happen in your absence. The baby, meanwhile, will probably be fine.
• The good news: maternity leave. The other news: back eventually. We look forward to both and are managing our feelings about the second one.
• Congratulations! We expect to receive regular photo updates. This is not optional. It is a condition of the leaving collection.
• We have been promised that everything will be covered. We are choosing to believe this. Congratulations and good luck — with both the birth and the handover notes.

For a close colleague

• You've handled everything this office has thrown at you with remarkable efficiency and minimal visible stress. A baby is just a different kind of project, and if anyone is equipped for it, it's you. Congratulations — and we expect updates.
• I'd say we'll miss you, but honestly I'll just miss you specifically — the office version of you who knew where everything was and how everything worked. The baby is getting the better deal. Congratulations!
• Going on leave and leaving us to manage without you. Classic. Congratulations — we're delighted for you and slightly panicked for ourselves, in roughly equal measure.

One-liners for the card

• Good luck! (You've handled everything here — a baby is just a new kind of project.)
• We'll be fine. We'll be absolutely fine. Congratulations!
• Leaving us. Understandable. Congratulations.
• Sleep while you can. (We've been told to say this. Apparently it's helpful.)
• Off to do something considerably more important than quarterly reviews. Congratulations!

From the whole team

An online maternity leave group card from Thankeeu lets everyone write their full message — including the remote team members who never make it in for the office send-off — with an optional baby gift collection in GBP. Create one here.

More office safe funny maternity leave messages

• Congratulations! Please note that your out of office reply will now be doing more work than most of us. We have every confidence in it.
• We have tried to work out who will take over your role and have concluded it will take at least three people and a laminated flowchart.
• Wishing you all the best. We will try not to rename any shared folders while you are away. We make no promises about the kitchen rota.
• Congratulations! You are swapping Teams calls for a colleague who communicates entirely through noise. Honestly, some meetings felt like that already.
• We are thrilled for you. The printer is not. It has only ever worked properly for you and it knows you are leaving.
• Congratulations on finally having a valid reason to ignore the all staff emails.
• Best of luck! Your new manager will be very demanding, entirely unreasonable about meeting times and completely adorable.
• We have been asked to keep things running smoothly while you are away. We have been asked this before. Congratulations!
• Congratulations! The biscuit tin has been informed of your departure and is already showing signs of neglect.
• You leave behind a desk, a plant and a password nobody else knows. Please write it down. Then congratulations.

More funny messages for a close colleague

• I am delighted for you and utterly lost without you. Who am I supposed to roll my eyes at during the Monday meeting now?
• Congratulations! I have already started saving the office gossip for you in a document. It is twelve pages and rising.
• You have been my lunch buddy, my sounding board and my emergency stapler supplier. The baby is lucky. I am bereft. Congratulations!
• I promised I would not cry when you left, so I am writing this in the loo. Congratulations, I am thrilled for you, mostly.
• Please send photos, but also please send the login for that spreadsheet you built. Both are urgent. Congratulations!
• Congratulations! I fully expect you to come back with a new set of skills, including the ability to function on cold tea.
• I will hold your seat by the window and defend it against all comers. That is my gift to you. Congratulations, my friend.

More funny one liners for the card

• Congratulations! Do not check your emails. We mean it.
• Wishing you luck and a very long shelf life for that handover document.
• Enjoy your leave. We will be over here, quietly panicking.
• Congratulations! The office plants send their regards.
• Off you go. We will keep calm and carry on, apparently.
• Congratulations! Your replacement has been briefed and is terrified.
• New boss, very short, very loud. Good luck!
• Congratulations. We will save you a slice of every office cake. Possibly.
• The team is thrilled. The team is also googling how to do your job.
• Congratulations on your promotion to Head of Everything at home.

Funny messages from the whole team or the manager

• From all of us: congratulations, and thank you for leaving such detailed notes. We have read the first page.
• As your manager, I am obliged to say we will cope perfectly well. As your friend, I am saying please send help. Congratulations!
• The team has voted and agreed you are irreplaceable. We are going to try anyway. Wish us luck and enjoy every minute.
• Congratulations from the team who will now have to learn where you kept the spare chargers.
• We have put together a small collection and a large amount of goodwill. Congratulations!
• On behalf of the department, congratulations. The department would also like to know how the expenses system works.
• Congratulations! The team has promised to keep the fridge clean while you are away. We all know how this ends.
• Wishing you every happiness. We will think of you every time someone asks a question only you know the answer to, which will be hourly.
• Congratulations from your favourite colleagues and also from Dave, who insisted on signing.
• We have arranged a leaving do, a card and a gift. Next we will attempt the quarterly report. Wish us luck. Congratulations!